The Next Test

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3/7/2016

The Next Test

“Behold, I set before you a blessing and a curse.”

-The Source

“Torah, for those who merit it, becomes an elixir of life. Torah, for those who lack such merit, becomes a potion of poison and death.”

-The Talmud

Torah is instruction designed to teach us the truth about the Creator. Torah means direction, teaching, instruction or doctrine.

The words of Torah are a blessing, or a poisonous curse.

If your deeds are pure, the words of the Torah become the elixir to life and joy – but if your deeds are spoiled and bent then those same words of Torah can become a lethal poison. How?

The words of Torah are truth. Cosmic law. Divine law. Reality.

Joy comes through alignment with truth. Pain comes from dis-alignment. When your actions are aligned with Torah, its words of wisdom reinforce the spirit of joy within. Its words become a blessing.

But when you fall to base desires, and by choice separate and become dis-aligned, it doesn’t change the truth – the words of the Torah. Those words just become painful to face, because you are in a low place as a result of your own choices.

The key to a joyous life is to align with the truth. To align your actions to the truth. Then you can feel the joy in the words of Torah and bask in the blessings surrounding you – through your choices to rise above the pullings of your adversarial force.

You rise higher through restricting from the alluring call of base desires – impulses pulling you to dishonesty, lust, anger, ego, revenge, addiction, jealousy and fear. These are the internal and external gods which we are warned to not worship in Exodus, “You shall have no other gods before Me”.

King David said it himself, “There shall be no strange god in you, neither shall you worship any strange god.”

That flare of anger, that high, is a strange internal god. That persons property is a strange external god.

When you overcome a test, you experience a burst of exertion followed by a flow of sustained joy. When you succumb to a lower pull, you experience a flash of adversarial release followed by sustained pain. You further envelop yourself in the husk of illusion and physicality.

And the tests keep presenting themselves, one after the other, day after day. Fortunately for us, the Source is all merciful – “slow to anger and quick to forgive”. But this just leads us to the next opportunity where the choice is ours once again.

All these tests are here for a reason. Through them, our heart’s desire is measured. Our will is established. And according to the sages, at the end, it’s the will, the ratzon, which we are responsible for, not how high we climbed or how far we traveled.

We need to show up to the fountain of blessing with a strong vessel.

Poor choices can crack the vessel we need to hold the blessings coming to us. Wise choices strengthen the vessel. Teshuva patches up a crack, reinforcing the vessel even stronger than it was before the fracture.

As transformers, it is our job to elevate the spiritual sparks within all matter – to rebuild the vessel of humanity which was shattered at the Big Bang, at the destruction of the Temples and through our our own destructive choices today. We accomplish this by connecting and adhering to the spiritual laws of the Torah through our thoughts, actions and intentions.

We are building a spiritual structure here, like the 3rd Temple which the sages say is already built above us, that we will once again experience. We are crafting the foundation of our eternal reality through our physical actions. This is why we are here. This is what we are building.

It’s that big. That important. Every test.

Contemplate this when your next test shows up today.

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Blessings,

Etan

The Next Test

The gift to the friend who needs you now

gift

2/26/2016

The gift to the friend who needs you now

Honoring the ever present link between physical life experience and spiritual root cause, the seeker weaves life’s signs together into a rope of Divine communication.

Shattering duality between effect and cause, the seeker strives to associate physicality with spiritual root cause. Seeing through a spiritual lens, each moment is magnified into something above time and space.

The seeker feels that confident in his powers.

His powers cannot be denied once discovered. It becomes his obligation and calling to help lead others into the realms he discovers. It becomes his purpose and his own path to self expression and joy.

Life experienced through five senses of physicality alone, is a 3D movie without the glasses.

More alarmingly, the dualist challenges the spiritual root cause to gain his attention through the amplification of physical effect.

The Creator is All Merciful. He will not leave us stranded in the desert of duality, wasting life away in madness for too long. He sends His callings through the 5 senses we perceive with. Through nature He awakens the slumberers and leads us back to His captive unity. Down to our knees we cry and return out of love.

The volume is proportionate with the level of awakening required to shift the seeker back toward the spiritual root cause – the point where authentic evolution occurs.

And when he sees unity again, he sees the big picture in the smallest particles – his pains and anxieties melt away. Victomhood falls. Walls of Fear crumble. Entitlement dissolves. Temptation reveals its dark colors. Mental loops flatten. Yesterday and tomorrow, time and space merge into one. Every molecule is programmed to play a role in the endless unity of the One.

It is soothing to walk with the understanding that all comes from Hashem and all is for the good, as hidden as it may seem at times.

What advice would you give to the hamster on the wheel with a door at the side of its cage, yet so focused on the sugar water it consumes briefly while at the top of the wheel hanging from a ledge?

It’s freedom is trapped in the physical moment of satiation from occasional swigs of liquid.

It’s joy limited to the momentary satisfaction it receives from the potion, and the heavy sleep it falls to from a long days work on the wheel . Stuck in the cycle of work sleep work sleep like a slave in Egypt.

Kindness is not adding sugar to the water or another step to the wheel. Kindness is leading him through the door to freedom. And freedom comes from understanding wisdom and integrating it, not scratching itches.

In order to be a good friend you have to constantly strengthen yourself in applying your understanding of the wisdom so that you internalize what to give of to your friend.

You strengthen yourself by desiring to align your true self, your eternal soul, with the front end circuit board of your personality. Interior and exterior alignment through transforming exterior components of personality, ego, the emotional system, into reflectors of the soul like the moon does the sun.

A friend needs strength and faith. Light from darkness. The greatest joy comes from lifting up others who are down. Right Dube? And if we look around us we will see the ones who are calling.

The highest kindness is to help liberate a friend’s mind. To emancipate him from inner slavery. To bring him to the joys of life.

Shabbat Shalom.

Blessings,

Etan

The gift to the friend who needs you now

Opening doors to the next level of success

Shar_Tzion

1/19/2016

Opening doors to the next level of success

“Fear builds walls to bar the light”
-The Baal Shem Tov

 

Many of us wanted to stay in Egypt. Even as we witnessed the most incredible miracles of all time, we couldn’t help but think about the food we were leaving as we marched into the dessert of unknown. We missed the routine of Egypt. The small joys that we were accustomed to.

Even while witnessing grand miracles, the thought of walking into the unknown and leaving behind the certainty of the small joys of material slavery seemed frightening. It would require exertion and change. We’d rather put a hard day’s work in and enjoy the nightly meal. We’ve trained ourselves to survive in this limited sphere of enslavement. Maybe freedom would continuously require that we meet these moments of tests of our free will, walking blindly into the future with some expected satisfactory result. Many of us were not up for the challenge. And many of us still aren’t today.

There’s a moment that we all keep bumping into. A moment that will repeat itself over and over again through a recreation of the setup of circumstances in our lives. A moment whose purpose is to test our true will. How ready are we to make the space in our lives for increased blessing and success. Without expanding our vessel, we simply do not have the space for this increase – but through expanding it, we make room for unlimited light.

This choice of vessel expansion is what these moments of tests are all about. They require overcoming the adversarial force within us so that we can earn the blessing and success that’s right behind it.

These moments require a meeting of our higher wisdom and our physical action.

Rebbe Nachman teaches that we must force ourself to put all our strength into our prayers. That true devotion is binding our thoughts to our words of prayer – and this is how our inner power will enter our prayers, automatically. That all of our unlimited inner power waits for the moment when it is drawn into the physical words of holiness.

Success needs to be earned in order for it to last.

Kabalistically, manifesting success in every field of our life is the ability to access the potential that exists with us already.

The question is, why is this energy of success concealed and how do we bring it from potential to actual?

A fundamental universal law of success according to the Zohar is that there are 2 major forces within us – the soul and the adversary. The Soul connects to the big picture – it knows that everything that happens in life is to help me grow. That I’m responsible for my own destiny. That I need to shift something to create the space for success.

The adversary is the force inside that makes me jump to the consciousness of temporary success, routine and small joys – to become reactive – every time I face that moment of challenge to react with fear, worry, uncertainty, hurt, blame.

The soul knows that everything is opportunity in my life. A chance to grow closer to that force within myself – the adversary looks to cause chaos in my life – makes me reactive, impulsive, basing my judgment on how I feel this second – my subjective perception of reality.

The Source is the infinite energy of love, fulfillment and success, and each one of us is accessing only an aspect of that success – our potential is not tapped. Our real purpose is to expand our vessel to reveal our next level of success, fulfillment, love and accomplishment in every area of our life. We are all deep inside striving for that next level.

Sometimes we get what we want but we feel empty. Or, when we get it something else, another part of life is taken away from us – this is only because I didn’t really tap into the energy of success. Therefore I have not truly acquired it.

The kabalistic law of success is that the energy of success must be lasting in my life – and in the process of acquiring it, I need to overcome the adversarial force (selfishness, fear, ego, impulsive nature) within – I need to overcome the guard at the door to the next level.

Every time I overcome it I am actually igniting the sense of true fulfillment – becoming the co creator of that fulfillment – opening the door to acquire the room to house increased blessing in my life. The proper consciousness is we are here to expand our potential – go to the next level in every area of life.

Every time we face a challenge our base nature is to become reactive, to worry, to anger – especially when unfair things happen. At that moment, we must pause, restrict, observe – as tough as that challenge is – and recognize that this is really the opportunity to overcome the adversarial force within – because the Source sent me that challenge and the Source also gave me the ability to overcome that challenge.

So instead of focusing on that external opponent that is disturbing me so much, that I have a rage towards – let go! Shift focus on overcoming the internal opponent – the guard at that next level of success. This challenge was given to me in order to expand my ability to access success and blessing. A shift in how I look at things. From the mindset of losing and suffering to one of certainty that it’s for the sake of expanding.

As a result, from an unexpected place, things will improve – the light will reveal itself as we shift our reaction from external negativity to the battle within, and then deal with the situation with a different perception – opening doors to the next level of success revealing itself to us.

It’s not about not dealing with the problems in life, it’s about first pausing and letting go of the reactivity and then dealing with the issue from a place of positivity and clarity.

Between me and the next level of success there is a door that I need to cross and at that door I need to overcome the adversary who is not external – it is internal. The guard at the door manifests itself as fear, uncertainty, anger, entitlement.

Real success and long term blessing will be achieved according to the Zohar every time I am able to overcome the adversary within.

Our sole purpose in this world is to come close to our Source. This is where unlimited joy shines from. The adversarial force’s sole purpose is not to distract us from coming closer to the Source, but to help us grow. It’s entire existence is one of illusion, a coach who pushes us to the extreme to help us attain higher levels of success. At that next moment of test that we face, when the adversarial force is raging within us pushing us to fall, what it really is saying to us is – let me see you withstand my challenge and become great.

Blessings,

Etan

Opening doors to the next level of success

Wake up calls | Mercy in disguise

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12/17/2015

Wake up calls | Mercy in disguise

Rebbe Nachman said, “There are times when God sends a person suffering and punishment, but He does not weaken him. This is only intended to increase his faith.”

Thanking Hashem for your suffering is an expression of faith – it transforms your experience of suffering into gratitude – knowing that within the suffering itself, is the salvation. Within the suffering itself is the opportunity to rise higher.

You are going to reach your destination through joy or through suffering.

Our eternal soul was sent down to this world and placed in this body with a mission to rise to the highest realms. To lift up physicality. To reveal Godliness in the lowest places.

And when you combine an eternal spiritual soul with a temporary physical body you have inherent conflict. You have friction. You have two hearts. The animal heart which craves comfort and pleasure, rest and security. And the spiritual heart which craves connection to it’s Source.

We have a choice here. We can let the physical heart, the horse, lead the carriage, dragging the spiritual heart through these years – or we can steer the horse on the holy mission of the spiritual heart – the return to the Source.

We can serve Hashem in joy with this understanding, or we can forget our purpose and drift off into the illusionary material world  – and mercifully be dragged back on the path through wake up calls.

Wake up calls are a tool of the Creator.

They are used to awaken us from our slumber. They come in many forms and they are crafted in the precise fashion needed to most effectively shake us from sleep. There are financial disaster calls, there are calls of war, calls of sickness, calls of depression and addiction, calls of confusion and calls of hitting dead ends.

Those on the path of soul evolution need these calls to rouse us back to reality. Without them, we risk drifting along the waters of comfort and false security wasting our years away.

What kind of wake up call I need depends on how steeped I am in the slumber.

A gentle tap, a ruffle, a cycle of madness, an injury, a terminally ill disease. Theres no end to the powers of the Source – no end to His Mercy.

We hear it all the time… “Thank God for that accident, it woke me up and lead me to who I am today”… “Looking back, I thank God for those troubles, otherwise I’d still be on that same unconscious path…”

Let us not forget we are all just a collection of small separate particles of star dust bunched together in the illusion of mankind each with a profound purpose. The happiness we think we are experiencing outside of the soul’s mission is not real happiness. It just won’t last. It may seem comfortable but that’s also an illusion – the discomfort of stagnation and unconsciousness.

If you pay attention after a trauma a new found  path toward connection and clarity opens up and becomes recognizable.

I accept the temporary suffering. I know it’s custom crafted for my best interest. And also, it just is. And I love what is because that’s all there is. What is. And when you can learn to love what is, you are free.

Yiras Hashem (awe of the Divine) is recognizing the consequences of dis-aligned actions. Through faith, perceiving the suffering as the elixir we need in order to evolve – seeing the hidden mercy, the salvation in the suffering.

There is nothing random here. It may be well above our ability to grasp, but there is no chance or bad luck. The designer of the universe made no mistakes. We may think a bout of suffering is unfair but there are bigger things at play. The soul has a specific tikkun (repair/mission) to accomplish here. This platform is not meant for comfort and relaxation, it is an arena for growth.

Time spent chilling is time spent already in the grave. This is the world of action. Every day we need to keep our eyes on this truth.

Wake up calls are a gift. A test designed to give us the choice to shift back toward our purpose, or to complain and numb out. The soul is unlimited and our tests will only increase as we grow. That’s what it means to serve the Source in joy. The service, the path of growth, is the joy itself.

May we all merit to be gifted with the opportunity to grow in a time of peace and love and comfort. May we merit to ride through every moment of every day with this understanding – to not need the kind of wake up calls that startle us too much.

But when they do come, and it seems they always do, may we merit to use our wisdom to perceive the mercy imbedded in the call, and to find the true message in the temporary suffering.

As the holy Rebbe taught us, the suffering itself cannot weaken us. That’s up to us and the perspective we house. Only we can weaken ourselves – and “if we believe we can destroy we must believe we can repair”. Our tests are only intended to increase our faith.

Blessings,

Etan

Wake up calls | Mercy in disguise

The Path of Jacob

esau jacob

11/24/2015

The Path of Jacob

I see how this works – that it’s You behind everything.

It’s not just using You to accomplish something physical – it’s using the physical to connect to You.

Help me to not fall into the mentality of selling myself short through chasing small desires.

Help me to raise my faith and clarity higher to serve You with a pure and complete heart.

Help me find my highest joy in serving You with all my heart, all my soul all my might.

Let me find total joy in this. Absolute elation.

This is a winning equation.

This is reality.

This feels right and excites me.

This excites my body and soul and mind and heart and every part of me together in harmony.

This makes my soul dance with my body.

“Esau raised his eyes and saw all that Jacob had with him. He asked Jacob, what did you intend by that whole camp that I met? And Jacob answered, to gain favor in your eyes.”

Esau responded, “I have RAV” – I have plenty, I have abundance – a language implying arrogance and conceit.

And Jacob said, “I have KOL”, I have everything – I have all I need. A language of gratitude and humility.

Both had alot – but each had totally different perspectives on what they had and their relationship to the Source of what they had.

Let the wisdom of this epic encounter really sink into my heart.

We need to first learn what’s best for us, learn what true joy is, learn what our purpose is – and only then can we merit the joy of truly walking the high path because we understand what the high path is. We understand how to relate to the blessings in front of us.

This level takes training and tests of the heart in order to earn. It’s really a never ending process with higher and higher understandings but what else are we using our time here for? To decide on what we think we want and either achieve it or not and allow our happiness to rest on the outcome?

There is a higher path to walk. The path of Jacob.

Yes, there is the concept of serving Hashem for physical purposes and this is a good first step. It is higher than disconnection. It creates some sparks. It’s the next step for many of us from where we are at today. The next step toward the higher path. But there’s also the concept of serving Hashem with no ulterior motive. Simply because we realize that serving Hashem, aligning our heart and soul, actions and intellect, desires and wisdom, is the highest joy of all.

We reach a place of KOL – I have everything that I need right now.

The truth is that Hashem is spoon feeding us every split second. Every breath of air, every sip of water, every blink of an eye, movement of a limb. Our desires are influenced by where we are holding in our life. The sick desire health, the deaf desire hearing, the blind desire sight, the poor man desires money, the thirsty desire water, and the man of excess abundance desires another home, another vacation, another ring of security around his RAV.

This does not end.

When Jacob approached his brother Esau and offered him gifts, Esau said he had RAV, I have abundance – I have more than I need. Jacob said he had KOL, I have all that I need.

More than I need means I don’t need You anymore, I’m good, thanks.

All that I need means thank you for taking care of me yesterday, thank you for taking care of me now and I trust that You and only You will take care of me tomorrow.

It’s a live relationship.

It’s the way of the sages to walk like this.

Not full because of excess abundance, full because of happiness with their lot at this moment. The only lack is lack of faith that everything is coming from You and everything is exactly how You want it to be for my best interest at this moment.

When you make yourself small you shake off the chains of entitlement. You don’t need so much to feel full. You shake off the need for things to be a certain way – for your happiness to be dependent on an outcome.

When you realize that you are but dust and ashes, everything that comes to you is a gift that you are grateful for.

Being grateful is a very welcoming vibration to emit to the Giver who created the world to give of the highest levels of joy.

I have all I need right now. All I need is You.

Blessings,

Etan

The Path of Jacob

My setup here is fishy

Lion-Fish1

 

11/23/2015

My setup here is fishy

Dear Hashem,

I just had a very troubling discussion with my Rav.

Troubling in that it made me feel that I am trying to force Your hand in my life – and that I may be setting myself up for a downturn by taking on acts of devotion tied to the manifestation of certain things in my life.

He said my set up here is fishy.

That it’s not in accordance with all the Torah he has learned and the sages whose ways he has witnessed.

Fishy.

Now, he did start off the conversation with a bunch of reinforcing complements about my recent growth and how proud he was of me, etc.. But I’m troubled because my Rav said I’m doing something flawed. And my gut response was to be defensive and push him away and to be upset with him and think he is wrong and doesn’t really understand what I’m doing here.

The truth is I know he wants the best for me at least as much as I want it for myself.

But isn’t it OK to focus so intently on something that we are striving for in order to manifest a goal? To search out and edit aspects of our lifestyle which may be blocking an outcome in the name of clearing a path to ignite a desired result. Isn’t that a successful equation?

How do we align spiritually for something we so hope to accomplish in our life?

What about the Kabbalistic principal of building the requisite desire to achieve an objective and through restriction and exertion drawing in the desired light?

I started this daily hitbodidut commitment because I wanted something. So the question is, would I be this focused and consistent and connected even if I knew I wasn’t going to get what I was asking for?

It’s like a misbehaving child when we take away her toy will produce the most sincere sounding apologies, saying anything to get that toy back – but if she knew that she wasn’t getting that toy back she would still be complaining in her room. So her words are not really sincere because they are tied to an outcome which may or may not occur.

So what am I broadcasting to You here? Under these circumstances, Is it really in my best interest to give me what I am praying for? Or will that just cool me off and pull me back further from the yearning and connection I’m experiencing now?

I’m realizing that I need to not be attached to the outcome.

That the highest level, which I am striving for, is to not do things for the reward or even for the world to come but to simply do things because all I want is to connect to You. And just when I reach this level then giving me what I am praying for no longer will harm me.

I have to first let go, do my work and let You do Your work, and if it is Your will, then it will come. And if it is not Your will, so be it.

My lesson?

Serve Hashem for the sake of serving Him because that’s my purpose here. That’s the path to real joy. Serve Hashem without any agenda or fishy deals.

Sure, pray for things, but don’t commingle material demands and expectations with service – it takes the sincerity away. It takes the higher levels of why I’m doing what I’m doing away.

Growth that’s dependent on something is not real growth – only growth that’s in the name of heaven is real growth. Because if what you are depending on doesn’t materialize than what happens to your growth?

Fishy because you put your fate in the hands of a desired outcome – something other than Hashem’s will alone. You can’t force Hashem’s hand. Blessing will come when you are aligned, period. It will come in the form that Hashem chooses. Expectations and entitlements only detract from humility and gratitude.

I can still want and pray for what I want and pray for. But the approach should be checked – it should be kosher – listening to the wisdoms of our guides can seem painful at first. The pain comes from their truth. And the truth burns like fire. Best to singe ourselves now to avoid the fishy fires to come.

Blessings,

 

Etan

My setup here is fishy

Adventures In Hitbodidut | Clarity & Connection

Bal 21

 

11/19/2015

Adventures In Hitbodidut | Clarity & Connection

During a hitbodidut session on October 15th I was asking the Creator for something that’s important to me.

I asked what I could do to help make it happen.

An immediate response came through me which said to stop consuming alcohol and substances, attend minyan (prayer group) every day for shacharit and mincha and spend an hour a day in hitbodidut.

I was like, can I just have alchohol on Shabbat? And the response I felt was “no”.

I was like, what about just some wine on Shabbat for Kiddush, since it’s a spiritual requirement?, and the response I received was “no”.

So since this thing I want is so important to me, and since the clarity I received while reaching out to the Source was so clear, I made the commitment. And since then, I’ve kept it 100% and intend to.

The deal I made was that until this thing either happens, or clearly doesn’t happen, the deal is on. So I’m restricting from the intake of intoxicants and I’m exerting in effort to attend minyan and practice daily hitbodidut.

The feeling I got was that for me, for this to happen, I needed to be totally clear and connected. And now I feel like I am doing everything I can, physically and spiritually, to make it happen.

This comes on the heels of a new type of prayer that I’ve been connecting with over the past few months. I know that I’m here for my will to be tested – given the opportunity to exercise my free will to test my heart. And I know that at the end it’s the will of the heart that the Creator wants from me. So I’ve been praying and asking that I be given the strength to accomplish my rectification during a time of abundance and not lack, a time of health and not sickness, a time of blessing and bounty – for me to be a worthy recipient of blessing and to be able to grow fully into my potential without the need for difficulty and turmoil in my life.

This requires great pro-activity. It’s common to awaken from slumber when an emergency strikes. It’s common to get on our knees at a time of tragedy and great challenge. But when things are smooth sailing and dreams are becoming reality, it’s mad tough to remember the Source and keep it real. We are too busy relaxing and enjoying the new and improved creature comforts to rouse our self from sleep and grasp at the next rung of our spiritual potential.

I believe that I was created to receive the highest good from the Source, and that highest good is connecting my soul – which is a part of the Source – to the Source. I recognize that my ego and identity has developed its own separate version of what it considers good. And surrounding this image of what is good, are protective barriers which are not always so positive.

For example, I noticed that it was important for me to be viewed as good and successful in the eyes of others. So, at times when those around me would succeed, I would feel diminished in comparison. This handicap did not allow for me to fully celebrate others successes, and at times led me to even feel relief from others failures. Like, I could be their savior when they are down, or my reality somehow seemed more positive compared to their suffering and challenge. I recognize this as an illness caused by my own twisted view of my self from the perspective of my limited identity. Believing this leads to a form of baseless hatred, since I am separating myself from my brothers and sisters, secretly unable to share their joy.

Baseless hatred is the reason why the first and second temples were destroyed because God cannot rest the unity of His Presence among this form of hatred and separation – I’ve prayed for hours and hours on this matter. To not only realize, but to internalize and transform my own self worth and how it is effected by my identity’s version of my self.

I am commanded to love my brother like I love myself. Really, there is no difference. The only seeming difference comes from my ego which sees my self and my soul’s will as separate – and this is a form of enslavement to the physical. True joy comes from ascending beyond the constraints of my ego and transcending my physical identity into alignment with my eternal soul. This is how to build a worthy vessel for Divine abundance.

Since October 15th I’ve been hitting the mikvah every morning, praying in a minyan, refining my character traits during hitbodidut and judging my actions and intentions all throughout the day – realizing that everything is a test. Everything is from Hashem. My job is clear – to align with Hashem’s will through aligning my attributes with His revealed attributes. And only when I am on this path and involved in this process am I really happy.

The daily hitbodidut allows for me to scan my last 24 hours. To remember how I lost my patience with my son, how I talked about business on Shabbat, and on and on. And, how I felt about each of those actions. How they produced a sense of separation between my soul and my body. An energetic feeling of dis-alignment I get to revisit. I repent on each of those actions and I vow to try my best to not repeat them. And I forgive myself and I earn true deep joy through the process of rectification of my actions. My disconnection brings me to become even more connected. This is the power to teshuva – and without mindful contemplation, it’s very tough to accomplish on the fly.

I feel clear now. I have more energy. I feel more productive – and the things I was and am praying for which started all this are seeming closer and closer. I feel like I’m doing my part. I’m grateful for what I have and for what’s in front of me.

I know that my life will be full of twists and turns ahead but I know that if I stay clear and connected, I’ll be able to get through it all successfully.

Man, I miss Balvenie 21 Portwood and Oban and Glenmorangie 18. I can put down more than most. I miss that Friday night pre shul lullaby high and that Saturday morning buzz l’kavode Shabbos kodesh. But, something inside so clearly is telling me that I need all the energy I can access now – I need clarity, restriction, focus and exertion to take my game to the next level and to create a vessel worthy of receiving all that I’m asking for.

Blessings,

Etan

Adventures In Hitbodidut | Clarity & Connection