How to Save Your Marriage – For Men Only
“The Zohar compares the husband-wife relationship to that of the sun and the moon. The moon merely reflects the light that it receives from the sun, for it has no light of its own. So too, a wife’s vitality depends upon the “spiritual light” that her husband shines on her. When he’s kind and considerate, she radiates. When he’s critical and stingy, she suffers in a dark cloud of sadness. Her state of mind and behavior depend on him”
– Rav Shalom Arush, The Garden of Peace.
Similarly, the nation of Israel corresponds to the moon and the Source to the sun. We must be in alignment with the Source in order to most effectively receive its light and illuminate the world.
We are here to repair ourselves through relationships. Our closest relationships are the clearest mirrors and best suited conduits to transmit areas of necessary rectification. The closest relationship we have is with our “other half”.
- Your wife is a mirror. Do not criticize or have expectations. You are being shown, from the Source, exactly what you need to work on through your wife. You want change fix it yourself from within, and it will show up in the mirror. Don’t shoot the messenger.
- Observe your wife to see what the Source is telling you through her words and actions. Devote secluded time for this every day with no distraction. Love rebuke. It’s what we need in order to evolve. Smooth sailing is for the final ship – the pine box.
- Man corresponds to the sun. We are givers – that’s our nature both physically and spiritually. Women correspond to the moon, receivers. You want better vibes, shine better light. We reap what we sow – Sow the light you desire to bask in. We give, they receive, and we experience the light of what we shine through their glow.
- Comments and criticisms are debilitating and arrogant – and, they are a boomerang.
- Guard your eyes from looking elsewhere. Roaming eyes and imaginations burns imprints in your head that are compared to and destroy what you have.
- It’s not 50/50 – it must be 100/0. Any expectation or need unfulfilled is feminine. Our joy comes only from giving, aligning with our nature. There is only room for one woman in the home.
- Honor your wife and you will experience honor.
- The “poor” of your household come first – hook their needs up before going wide. Nothing more painful to a wife than for her husband to spend his life giving to everyone but her.
- Stand by her as #1 always, especially in front of your family.
- Peace in the home is commensurate with your Emunah “Faith”.
- Running away from a relationship is like a game of whack a mole. What you need to work on will pop up elsewhere in the next relationship. You can’t escape the Source.
- Never hold a grudge, argue, or lose your temper – it’s just poisoning your own system.
The above wisdom is inspired by Rav Shalom Arush’s book, The Garden of Peace.